A few framed photos around our apartment are hung using those 3M Command sticky strips. Lately things have been falling off the walls, so the sticky strips must have a specific expiration date. Or we have a poltergeist. One or the other.

This past weekend a huge, clattering, cascading noise woke me from a dead sleep. I sat up and gasped loudly on a whooshing intake of breath, like Whooooaaaaahhhh but sucking air into panicking lungs. Brian earned 3 husband points because he instantly sprang up and knelt over me to either administer CPR or fend off a robber. He said later that I looked like Jon Snow (SPOILER) returning to life, pale and terrified. Sheila stood up and wagged her tail.

My heart was racing and I peeled at least a year off my life from the adrenline running in my blood like paint thinner. We quickly ascertained that everyone was fine, no one was injured, and there was no robber. It was an effort to fall back asleep.

In the morning I found that a photo over my nightstand had come unstuck and fallen off the wall, then knocked over a little mirror and about six of the 183 bottles of lotion etc. that live on the nightstand. It fell perilously close to my sleeping head. We spent half an hour the next day removing other framed things before their sticky strips could expire and kill us all.